


Waking up still dreaming

by xJane



Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, M/M, POV Alternating, Sharing a Bed, Touch-Starved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:14:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27762076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xJane/pseuds/xJane
Summary: Matteo wakes up slowly. Before he opens his eyes, he tries to take stock of all his limbs, but the task is made difficult by the fact that they are entangled with David’s. However, this is not at all unusual, so Matteo just moves his legs from between those of David, and David’s arm from his waist, and his own from under David’s head.His skin tingles and David’s warmth against his body feels familiar, safe. He drags his hand carefully over the sheet. Maybe he could just trace David’s face, card through his hair – he could pretend to be asleep if David wakes up…God.He is pathetic.He sits up, careful not to wake up his friend.The word buzzes around in his head like an enraged wasp.David is his friend. His best friend, even. But there is another word Matteo wants to use for him.He sighs. It does him no good to think like that.He knows he should get up, before David wakes and this becomes awkward. He slips out of the bed, disappears into the bathroom, looks into the mirror sternly.David is his friend. It’d be smart to remember that.***Or, mutual pining, cuddling, oh no there was only one bed and love confessions.
Relationships: Matteo Florenzi/David Schreibner
Comments: 16
Kudos: 79





	Waking up still dreaming

Matteo wakes up slowly. Before he opens his eyes, he tries to take stock of all his limbs, but the task is made difficult by the fact that they are entangled with David’s. However, this is not at all unusual, so Matteo just moves his legs from between those of David, and David’s arm from his waist, and his own from under David’s head.

His skin tingles and David’s warmth against his body feels familiar, safe. He drags his hand carefully over the sheet. Maybe he could just trace David’s face, card through his hair – he could pretend to be asleep if David wakes up…

God.

He is pathetic.

He sits up, careful not to wake up his friend.

The word buzzes around in his head like an enraged wasp.

David is his friend. His best friend, even. But there is another word Matteo wants to use for him.

He sighs. It does him no good to think like that.

He knows he should get up, before David wakes and this becomes awkward. He slips out of the bed, disappears into the bathroom, looks into the mirror sternly.

David is his friend. It’d be smart to remember that.

***

David keeps his eyes screwed shut and his body rigidly silent while Matteo carefully disentangles himself from David’s embrace and flees into the bathroom.

Only when the door has closed, he opens his eyes and hides his face in his pillow to muffle the frustrated groan he lets out.

It’s been like this for months. David will wake up somewhere in paradise, Matteo in his arms, his skin warm and smooth under David’s hand, his chest rising and falling regularly, his hair, even in his sleep, half in his eyes.

He will stay quiet for as long as he can, so he can remain in his personal version of heaven for a bit longer – because when Matteo wakes up, he will not waste any time and make sure he removes himself from the situation as soon as possible.

On a good day, he’ll have ten, fifteen minutes, sometimes almost half an hour to watch Matteo to his heart’s content, to let his eyes and his hands soak up the beauty that is Matteo, to cautiously press his lips on whatever centimeter of Matteo’s skin he has ended up navigating to in his sleep – his shoulder, his chest, his neck.

It is infuriating, and yet, he lives for these mornings – when he can pretend Matteo is his to hold.

***

Matteo really should keep his distance from David.

Because when he doesn’t – well, his heart starts whispering of hope and anticipation and waking up in the morning without having to let go.

But he is weak, and anyway, whenever they hang out, David makes grabby hands at him, and the boys automatically shift closer together so there is a spot for Matteo right next to David.

And when it’s late, and they walk home together, they are so much slower than necessary, because they keep slinging arms around each other’s shoulders, or bumping their hips.

Matteo doesn’t mind. This way, he gets to study David’s face under the light of the street lamps for longer, gets to stare at his friend’s wide grin without being caught.

David playfully pushes him, pulls him by the arm. Matteo retaliates by kicking at his ankles.

Every touch is pure electricity.

And it all becomes too much.

David is just being David, physical and bouncing after a night out with their friends. It doesn’t mean anything.

Even the tight hug in front of David’s front door is just that.

Matteo wills his body to not react to David’s proximity, to his smell, the tickling of his curls on Matteo’s jaw.

***

David knows he shouldn’t ask.

But his hands ache to touch Matteo, and even though the street lanterns are shading the alley in dimness, it is still too light. He craves the kind of touches they can only have in the utter darkness of his bed, covered by blankets. The kind of intimacy he only allows himself when he can blame it on sleep.

“You wanna sleep over?”

He aims for disinterested nonchalance, but it sounds studied and fake.

Matteo hesitates, and when he bows his head, he bites his lip.

David feels an eruption of butterflies inside.

This, this is Matteo at his most gorgeous – his messy hair in his eyes, but the blue still shining through, his pale skin lit up, his straight teeth on those red lips.

Oh, to kiss that velvet mouth, to lick soothingly over the place Matteo is gnawing.

And then Matteo nods, and smiles his half-smile, and the butterflies bat their wings like crazy, and David has to look away.

He knows they won’t calm down, that all night they will dance in his chest, and make sure he takes stock of every place where his skin touches Matteo’s.

And in the morning, when the light is filtered and blue, he will watch Matteo, catalogue every millimeter of his face, and wish with all his heart to be brave enough to look at Matteo’s ocean eyes when he wakes up.

And when he doesn’t, when he pretends to be asleep and tries not to cry as Matteo piece by piece extracts himself from David’s embrace, he will tell himself the night is enough.

But he knows the elastic is strung so tautly something will have to snap.

***

They hang out with the boys, and Matteo, as always, ends up curled into David’s side. Nobody gives it a second thought.

“My poor touch-starved Matteo,” David purrs, and smiles indulgently while he pets Matteo.

You have no idea, Matteo thinks, desperately, closing his eyes when David softly sweeps his hair from his face.

They’ve had some drinks, and the evening has grown late.

David is absent-mindedly drawing circles on Matteo’s wrist, while Abdi is trying to tell a story, but he is too tired to keep track.

Matteo shifts, so he can look at David surreptitiously – but when he lifts his eyes to the other boy’s face, they are met with a pair of dark ones already looking at him.

Matteo’s heart flutters. God, those eyes, those lips. He needs to look away, he cannot breathe, but he is frozen like a deer in the headlights.

David’s fingers stop their movements, slowly, and instead grip Matteo’s hand, intertwine with his.

“God, Matteo. You’re so fucking beautiful, you know that?”

It is whispered so softly Matteo would have thought he was dreaming it, if he hadn’t seen David’s mouth move.

And his heart doesn’t flutter anymore, it crashes against his ribs, it beats so fast he thinks something will break, and still – David is just his friend.

So he gracelessly gets up, and runs.

***

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

David curses his three beers. He doesn’t feel that drunk, but his brain-to-mouth filter is obviously reduced to nothing. And now everything is ruined.

Matteo doesn’t even want to be near him anymore.

He suddenly feels so cold, without Matteo draped over him. It is strange not to be having some part of himself in contact with Matteo.

He knows he needs to go after Matteo, apologize, promise to stay away. To not burden Matteo with David’s love, to not push his desires onto Matteo.

He knows there won’t be any nights like this one anymore, nights in which he can be close to Matteo – yet never as close as he wishes. There will be no more waking up together, their limbs all jumbled into one big mess of boy.

But so be it. If he can only have Matteo from afar, he’ll take it. It is better than nothing.

He finds Matteo slumped against a wall, his eyes closed. Even in the shadows, David can see the trails of tears on Matteo’s cheeks.

Fuck.

Maybe he should leave him alone, he is obviously upset – and it’s because of David. David did that to him. He doesn’t deserve somebody as soft as Matteo in his life.

He stands still for a few agonizing seconds, drinking in Matteo, still hauntingly beautiful. He allows his eyes to get their fill – look, but not touch. Never his to touch.

Biting back a sob, he turns around.

***

Matteo doesn’t know why he opens his eyes. He didn’t hear anything, but suddenly he felt he was no longer alone.

David is walking away from him, slumped shoulders and shuffling feet.

“David?”

The word escapes before Matteo can think about it, and he doesn’t have time to start panicking before David spins slowly to face him. He looks so lost, and Matteo wants to run towards him and fight all David’s battles for him.

David comes closer, and Matteo freezes, his hands next to his thighs, braced on the wall in his back. David stops a few steps in front of Matteo.

“I’m sorry,” he says, swallowing heavily.

Matteo nods. David takes a deep breath.

“And I am also sorry for what I am about to do, but – But I don’t think I can be your friend any longer.”

Matteo gasps, and the tears he only just managed to stop prick threateningly in the corner of his eyes again.

“I didn’t mean to ruin things, but I can’t keep it in any longer. I – I am in love with you, and I know you don’t feel the same and –”

Matteo doesn’t hear a word after that. He sees David’s lips move, but his head swims.

“What?”, he says, harshly, in the middle of David’s speech. The other boy shuts his mouth, looking bewildered.

“What, what?”

“Say that again,” Matteo asks, demands, begs. He doesn’t care which, as long as David says it again.

***

David feels dazed. Matteo is staring at him, with huge eyes and a determined look on his face.

“Say what again?”

Matteo just gazes, until something seems to click inside him, and he surges forward, until he is right in front of David. His hands come up to cradle David’s face and it’s – they have never touched like this, been as close as this, not even buried under blankets, not even in the dead of night.

It is scary and huge and exhilarating and warm and so, so confusing.

“You – you said – you’re in love with me…”

Matteo sounds breathless, and David is dizzy with want. He wants more, he wants closer, he wants everything. He nods, Matteo’s hands moving over his cheeks.

And then Matteo leans closer, and he bites his lip, and – god. David feels something coil deep inside him, something low and heated. His tongue darts out, licks his mouth where he wants to lick Matteo’s, and Matteo gasps, and then –

Then their lips find each other, and they devour. There is nothing soft and tentative, there are only hunger and raw need. David moans. The sound gets lost in Matteo’s mouth, but it sets loose all his desire, and without letting go, he walks Matteo backwards until they are pressed up against the wall, and close enough to be melting into each other.

***

This time, when Matteo blinks open his eyes, he finds David looking at him with softness in his gaze. This time, their lips are red and swollen from the endless kisses they traded last night – passionate kisses pinned against a wall, joyful kisses running home, and tender kisses sharing one pillow. This time, Matteo doesn’t bother trying to figure out which body parts belong to him and which one to David – he just pulls at whatever piece of his boyfriend he can reach, until they are so close it is hard to tell where one ends and the other begins.

And still it is not enough. Their fingers roam, growing more confident as they go, while their mouths explore vast expanses of skin.

They don’t need to speak a lot, preferring to let their bodies do the talking, now that they don’t have to hold back anymore, now that they don’t have to worry any longer about where the boundaries of their friendship are.

Matteo wonders if they can stay here forever, now that he doesn’t have to leave David’s embrace in the dead of morning anymore.

He says as much to David, and David kisses him in reply, and they touch each other until their fingers are numb and their bodies are limber and loose and their breathing shallow.

Then they sleep, and when they wake up again, the wonder is back in their eyes, and they repeat their earlier activities, and Matteo thinks waking up is his favourite thing ever, if it is like this.

***

They are playing ping pong with the boys, and David is losing. Badly. Matteo has bowed out after a few rounds, and there’s nothing unusual about that, but the comments about David flow freely. Because not only is he losing, even stranger, he isn’t even mad about it. David, who can’t stand not winning at anything, is grinning widely at every missed ball, at every victorious holler by Jonas or Carlos.

He couldn’t care less about winning, today.

Matteo is sitting on the ground, his back against the wall, and his eyes are shining brighter than the August sun.

It’s been an hour since he kissed Matteo, and suddenly, he cannot wait another second. He leaves the table, ignoring Jonas’ calls about forfeiting the game, and runs over to Matteo, who gets up just as David reaches him.

With a grin, he throws his arm around his boyfriend and pulls him closer.

They have lots of experience by now, and their lips slot together perfectly, their tongues licking red-hot stripes.

The boys are still playing when David finally lets Matteo go, a bit reluctantly, but completely out of breath. He turns around in Matteo’s arms, leaning back against him with a content sigh. Matteo drops his head on David’s shoulder, pressing his lips into the sensitive flesh under David’s ear.

“Do you think we should tell them at some point?”, Matteo whispers, his voice low. It sends a shiver over David’s spine and he couldn’t care less right now about the boys. He shrugs.

“At some point, sure,” he agrees. “But now we have other things to do.”

He doesn’t care how needy he sounds. All he cares about is Matteo’s throaty laugh, and his lips on Matteo’s, and the image of waking up to exactly this every morning from now on.

**Author's Note:**

> Leave me a comment if you like!
> 
> <3


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